Missing Sarmale

Part 1 - The exquisite 5-month experience at the EC

I did warn you on this. It will be long, with lots of pictures, and probably written during various moments, so my tone and mood may vary.

First, and introduction in the European jargon, e.g. the very annoying language that the EU fonctionnaires use in order to separate themselves from the rest of the world. Otherwise some of you (non-Europeans :-) will think that I'm speaking unknown languages. I notice I already use some words that are not proper English.

So, my definitely-non-exhaustive-dictionary:

English = language crippled by most non-native speakers in Europe; also the main language of the European environment, although it is not politically correct to call it so.

French = language that everyone should know, but still une langue that normally gets mixed up con l'italiano or any other latin language, since they come from the same place anyway. Most used phrase is probably "l'adition, s'il vous plaît", translating into "please give me the bill ASAP, cause my coffee break is already two hours longer than planned". French seems always more concise.

European Institutions = long list of institutions of the European Union (EU), such as European Commission (EC), European Parliament (EP), Council of Ministers of the European Union, European Court of Justice (ECJ) and many more. People think that everything is in Brussels. Wrong. Headquarters in quite many places like Strasbourg, Luxembourg, Frankfurt, the Hague, and so on.

European Commission = the brain of the EU where laws get initiated, as well as lots of committees, sub-committees, working groups, networks, lunch meetings and coffee breaks. Also the place where I did my traineeship (see below) starting from October last year. Here is the most famous Commission building, the Berlaymont, picture taken when eveyone is out partying:

Stage = Traineeship. Found in expressions like: "All the world is a stage", "The stage is what you make of it", "the stage does not guarantee that you will find work in Brussels, but you can't find work without it". It lasts 5 months.

Stagiaire = lovely English word meaning the person who does all the work.

Fonctionnaire = another English word meaning all other EU employees except for the stagiaires, and the people who do the rest of the work the stagiaires don't have time to do.

Commissioner = person who is neither a stagiaire, nor a fonctionnaire; there are 25 of them, one for every EU member state, and everyone hopes to see one on the corridors. And they smile like this:

Directorate General = comes from "DG" and is not the same with "DJ"; name of every service of the Commission, for example Directorate General for Education and Culture, Directorate General for Enlargement and so on. If you want to know what SCIC, IAS, OLAF, BUDG or FISH mean, try to google them, or click here. What, you don't speak Finnish? This multilingualism, better click here then.

Stage Committee = "SC" or a group of about 5 stagiaires - if no one resigns after the first week - who take care of and organise all the activities during the 5-month stage. They are stubborn, self-centred, annoying, good manipulators (how else would they get voted for), overloaded with work. When they pretend to like eachother, they look like this:

Office = small room where you close the door and you make personal phonecalls and write your blog in peace. It has a door where your advisor/ stage coordinator/ head of unit/ sexy Italian colleague are programmed to knock on in order to disturb your tranquility.

Coming back later on with more entries connected directly to the stage.

posted by Dana @ 5:56 pm